Moment in time

16 03 2014

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How shall I begin to capture the moments of my last six months ? I’m not sure how many times I’ve wanted to write about them, but I manage some words and have to start all over again at a different time. They say Nikolai Astrup, a painter from my birth place, left many pictures unfinished, and I see the same tendency myself. I have about 40 drafts on my blog and even when I publish something new, I’m haunted by the stories I wanted to share and write.

This weekend has been about traveling, both physically from one place to another and metaphorically from one memory and thought to another. I have loved sitting with my head against the bus-window with an audiobook on my ear, while I watch the Norwegian mountain in all their mighty colors. My mood has been very present the last week, and I owe that to several things: I am moving from one apartment to another, and changes always whirl up emotional dust. Another reason for ample emotional occurrences, is the endings and beginnings in relationships.

I’ve worked for over three years now and an right now in a phase where many of my clients have gotten better. Some therapies has come to an end, and like Andrew Solomon wrote about himself: Sometimes I am so afraid of loosing the present that I find it hard to move on. To follow people, either professionally or personally, a long time also means accepting that it must end. To say goodbye to individual stories, is emotional, even when you know it’s right.

I started my blog two years ago, when my ex left me. Still I feel knots inside when I remember what we had and what I could have done different. This week I saw him again for the first time in over 6 months. He was one of the main singers in a musical, with the title ‘c.r.a.z.y in love’. One of my best friends sat next to me, and put her hand upon mine as my tears streamed when he opened the show by sining ‘to really love a woman’. I hoped it would be un eventful, but I knew I had to go through it. I felt better after some songs, but found myself in a emotional turmoil the day after it ended. I was prepared for some reaction, and have let it come, practicing mindfulness and calm breathing. I have went through regret, memories and loneliness all over again, and the need to get answers has once more haunted my thoughts.

It’s started to get late. I am in my bad as I write and think about the last months. I can honestly say that I’m proud of myself: I’ve stood in difficult feelings and held my head up high. I’ve told myself I should be happy that I can love so deeply that
My cuts still hurt two years after the injury. I’d rather love with all off me than hide beneath the covers and feel nothing.

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Sound of goodbye: Last scene

11 03 2014

The last scene

If you ask people: What do you regret most? The things you did or the things you didn`t do, they answer, with longing, the things they  didn`t do. When looking back, the things you didn`t say or do, linger on. The silence can speaks so loud and haunt you in the quiet night. Luckily, many have tought me this valuable lesson, and today I can`t thank them enough. When the bridge bridge collapsed under my feet, they stood there as I rebuilt it, stone by stone. I didn`t always realize it since fog hid their beautiful faces, but I always recognized them in the end. They saved me enough to see and take an outstretched hand when I needed it.

Some didn`t have pillars of safety to stand on when they built their lives. So what about them? What about those who couldn`t let their tears flow when they wanted? How can I ever compare my experiences to that? The lack of scaffolding must feel like swimming without seeing land. “True”, you might say, but this can bring out incredible strength in people. “True”, I`d answer with a sad voice. “But it still drains their energy for such a long time”. “And what about those who lose their lives in the effort? How many had to let go right before they reached the shore?

I have no answers, but I do have my ability to ask since they didn`t take that away from me. My gift is to give back what I got to show my appreciation and gratitude. I`ll promise to give as much as I got with the warmth of this truth energizing me forever.

Who knows? One day one of them might feel as touched as me when I stretch out my hand and they take it. What if they one day get the chance to think like I do? In an integrative blender my thoughts and feelings have intermingled until this simple truth came out: If this isn`t nice, then I don`t know what is.

m6

Weekly Writing Challenge: Golden Year

Sugababes – Sound Of Goodbye

High suicide rates

Psychology Today

Mirrorgirl

For access to password protected posts send email til forfreepsychology@gmail.com




The most relaxing tune ever recorded

10 03 2014

According to Scientists, This is The Most Relaxing Tune Ever Recorded

By Daily Health Post November 26, 2013 featured, natural remedies

This eight minute song is a beautiful combination of arranged harmonies, rhythms and bass lines and thus helps to slow the heart rate, reduce blood pressure and lower levels of the stress. The song features guitar, piano and electronic samples of natural soundscapes.

A study was conducted on 40 women, who were connected to sensors and had been given challenging puzzles to complete against the clock in order to induce a level of stress. Different songs were then played, to test their heart rate, blood pressure, breathing and brain activity.

The results showed that the song Weightless was 11 per cent more relaxing than any other song and even caused drowsiness among women in the lab. 

It induced a 65 per cent reduction in overall anxiety and brought them to a level 35 per cent lower than their usual resting rates. 

Moreover, sound therapies have been used for thousands of years to help people relax and improve health and well-being. Among indigenous cultures, music has been the heart of healing and worship. The song, weightless is ideal for unwinding and putting an end to a stressful day.

According to Dr David Lewis-Hodgson, from Mindlab International, which conducted the research, this song induced the greatest relaxation, higher than any other music tested till date. In accordance to the Brain imaging studies, music works at a very deep level within the brain, stimulating not only those regions responsible for processing sound but also ones associated with emotions. The song Weightless can make one drowsy and hence should not be heard while driving.

Read more: http://dailyhealthpost.com/according-to-scientists-this-is-the-most-relaxing-tune-ever-recorded/#ixzz2vZ5WqOOL
Follow us: @dailyhealthpost on Twitter | dailyhealthpost on Facebook





How can therapists make progress ?

10 03 2014

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K. Anders Ericsson’s work on deliberate practice and client feedback explains studies showing that most of us grow continually in confidence over the course of our careers despite little or no improvement in our actual rate of success.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, the culprit behind such mistaken self-assessment isn’t incompetence, but rather proficiency. Within weeks and months of first starting out, noticeable mistakes in everyday professional activities become increasingly rare, making intentional modifications seem irrelevant, increasingly difficult, and costly in terms of time and resources. Add to this the custom in our profession of conflating success with a particular method or technique, and the door to greatness for many therapists is slammed shut early on.

During the last few decades, more than 10,000 “how-to” books on psychotherapy have been published, and the number of treatment approaches has mushroomed. Based on this information alone, one would be hard pressed not to believe that real progress has been made by the field. More than ever before, we know what works for whom. Or do we?

Discover the characteristics of the most successful therapists, and what we can learn from them to improve our own practices. Download The Secrets of Supershrinks: Pathways to Clinical Excellence for FREE!

In comparing today’s success rates with those of decades past, we find that  no measurable improvement in the therapeutic effectiveness of psychotherapy has occurred in the last 30 years.

The time has come to confront the unpleasant truth: Our tried-and-true strategies for improving our therapeutic effectiveness have failed. Instead of advancing in the field, we’ve stagnated, mistaking our feverish peddling on a stationary bike for progress in the Tour de Therapy.

This isn’t to say that therapy is ineffective. Quite the contrary, the data are clear and unequivocal: Psychotherapy works. The heart of the issue, however, is how we can learn from our experiences and improve our therapeutic effectiveness.

Psychotherapists aren’t alone in the struggle to increase expertise. Using the treatment of cystic fibrosis (CF) as an example, science writer Atul Gawande showed how the same processes undermining excellence in psychotherapy play out in medicine.

Since 1964, medical researchers have been tracking the outcomes of patients with CF. As is the case with psychotherapy, the evidence indicates that standard CF treatment works. The real story isn’t that patients with CF live longer when treated, but that, as with psychotherapy, treatment success rates vary significantly.

It’s a small comfort to know that our counterparts in medicine stumble and fall in the pursuit of excellence just as much as we “soft-headed” psychotherapists do. But Gawande’s article provides much more than an opportunity to commiserate. It confirms what our own research revealed to be the essential first step in improving outcomes: knowing your baseline performance. To get where you want to go, you first have to know where you are.

Most practicing psychotherapists have no hard data on their therapeutic effectiveness with clients. Fewer still have any idea how their outcomes compare to those of other clinicians or to national norms. By discovering this information, we can push beyond our current standard of reliable performance and, in time, see our outcomes improve markedly.





Would not come

7 03 2014

behind the mirrorBack and forth. I try to suppress it, but it keep resurfacing like a cork in the water. I let my hands take another crawl, and think: Just let it go. Just let your thoughts work for themselves. But it sticks, like glue going wild.

They say that sometimes the wrong foot touches the floor in the morning, and you have a day less perfect than you wish for. I noticed this feeling immediately  this morning, but I knew resisting it was meaningless. I wanted to have fun, but the day was not meant for fun. You can`t always get the day you want, or the mood you want, and I know this as life. I`ve been threading through days like these, many times before, and I will many times more. The best I can do, is let myself be, focus on what must be done rather on how much I don`t want to do it. But the claw sits in my stomach and my throat. I just want to be happy, but it won`t come.

I put on my mental Alanis Morissette song and let it be:





Self-harm epidemic part 2

7 03 2014

Some days ago I presented part 1 of “the self-harm” epidemic. The topic is important, and I recommend all the four videos for people curious about self-harm





Love, save the empty

1 03 2014

I spent so many hours in their world, and therefore it scares me how little I remember from all the plots and stories I`ve read. I have never been good at remembering things afterward, I cared more about the experience there and then. How it was to feel what they felt, how surprised I could be over certain ways to think, and how my heart would beat when something was dangerous. Emotions. They are still here. I don`t sit down to read, I just look at the covers and feel the emotions from the past tingling inside me.

It is so nice to see those books again. I couldn`t have brought back these memories and feelings on my own, no matter how hard I tried. I needed to see them physically to remember. I remember how I read a bit, put it down, and the happiness when I had time to sit down with it again. The sad stories, the horror storries and the romantic stories, they were all urging me to continue, to find out how it all would end.

 

It has been so many years. I still read my stories, especially biographies and nonfiction. I open the chest of history and look at it`s organs. I examine it, still, and while doing it I also realize how precious little time we have. How many stories will I hear, before I die? How many times will my heart feel joy when someone find their prince charming? How much rage will be motivating me because I hear stories about abuse and suffering? I need to dive in it, and I need to feel. But sometimes I must also remind myself that my own story needs content. It needs feelings and people and thoughts. It needs insights, hurts and happy endings.

Where am I right now? Still sitting and waiting for my family in the home where I grew up. Soon my two small (energetic) brothers will fill the rooms with laughter and babbling. I love it and I love them. And maybe I will find my own love, soon? Maybe in some years times it will be me who looks at our children, and feel happiness swell in my chest? I am ready to grab my story, lift it up and carry it with me whereever I go.

 








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AdilaMKarol

Keep it simple, but significant!

The Word Forge

Casting truth, melting down golden calves

Neurodivergent Rebel

Rebelling against a culture that values assimilation over individuality.

Human Life Run

Mistakes Are Reality Of Life.Lets Understand and Move on!!

Solace

with Jason Lee, Author of Living with the Dragon

Logical Quotes

Logical and Inspirational Quotes

jennifersekella

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

MAKE ME UP MARIE

An authentic lifestyle blog and open journal | Written by Marie Penrose

raynotbradbury

We are cups, constantly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.

Oriana's Notes

Just some stuff you might like. Or not. What do I know about you.

Child of Cynicism

"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year."

Eric's Corner of the Globe

Within the confines of one's mind lay the keys to eternity

Musings of PuppyDoc

Poetry & Medicine

Invisible Illnesses

Awareness, Education, Research & Quips

aspergerinformator

en opplysningsblogg om Asperger syndrom

Captain Awkward

Advice. Staircase Wit. Faux Pas. Movies.

Emerging From The Dark Night

Working through the Dark Night of the Soul to emerge as me.